About Moi

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Sharqiyah, Saudi Arabia
Saudi/Brit in search of herself.

Friday, 29 February 2008

Trouble in Paradise

Found it? Your objective - your monthly raise, your graduation diploma, your job acceptance, your soulmate, your insatiably appetitizing object of lust (loool), your reason for smiling?If yes, then are you truly fufilled? Something you can pretend is important will automatically make it so.Don't get me wrong, objects can be shifted - and success manufactured as I've said before and anything faked...but what if you've found it, but you can't keep it, or if it were unclear.

"O, I have bought the mansion of a love, But not possess'd it."

It is this objective is that drives us nearly to the peak of paranoia lol...it may be that the objective is so surreal that it seems highly unlikely and completely fictional..but nevertheless we are driven. [Harder than winning is holding]
Imagine a metaphoric story of a man set out to find something he'd always dream for, somethin so improbable and yet he were so eager to find it - the truth. For him it was a desert elephant, something unlikely to come by. He had to linger on the hope that he would eventually find it, and keep it for always even if it meant roaming the desert without particular direction but with a very certain desire.
Have you done that? Have you ever followed your desert elephant into the wilds - putting your own time, energy and emotional status at stake? Only to discover that when you stop to think of it, you don't know whether you are coming or going? You're standing there in the middle of the desert you don't know whether its going to end nicely or if you should re-trace steps and go back to where you were - hollow without an objective merely a vessel moving from one situation of life to the next. And yet safe, safe the pain of not getting what you really want.
Inside us all there is the secret truth of ourselves and our desire, a truth that is hollow, like a cocunut that has split its water. We can choose one of the two options, whether it is to just embrace this hollowness and just give yourself the opportunity to persuade yourself that there is something real and true out there...and be fine with the insecurity and self-doubt. Or to just quit while you're ahead. Quit a losing game.
Maybe I don't quite make sense but you'd have to use that imagination of yours loool ;)

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