About Moi

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Sharqiyah, Saudi Arabia
Saudi/Brit in search of herself.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Yikes! I'm in limbo!! The idea of starting work is been tossed around but still not ready to hit the deep end...evidently everything changes once you graduate. YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE DRAMATIC :D hahahaa. Shoot me :
"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.''

Monday, 14 July 2008

Arranged Marriage also known as the ''M'' word"- Take the one who loves you, not the one you love?!

I rememeber when Taqo* blogged about this ages back...the whole ordeal of, "get changed there's a mother waiting to see you downstairs for her son". LOL
Foof* is not a stranger to the whole "M" scene either :D

Especially once you hit 21 and from then on. I remember when Khanette* dreaded turning that age for that fact. I've come to realize us girls are seriously complicated beings and I kind of feel sorry for men. Back in Jan'o7 she and I made this doomed for failure resolution that we'd find '"the one" that year and marry him right after grad! It sounds so hilarious right now...

McHottie* and I at that time used to spend countless hours discussing how do you know when the guy is serious or not!? And she found the Golden Rules in how men marry b*tches...haha. I guess trying to fathom life's mysteries is what us girls do best.

I like giving the "I'll think about it" answer to hopeful parents, showing atleast you're taking it into consideration and not just blowing them off which is the real truth. That was the case a couple of months back as I admit I am quite passive to a certain extent with these things.
I love Ash*'s response to this:

Ash - Woman! what are you doing??

Me - I was just trying to....be nice?!

Ash- Next time I'll hear from you, 'Ash I'm engaged I didnt want to but I was just trying to be nice'! :-0

Me- hahahahahaha

Ash - Run for the hills!

Ah, gotta love her....she's like the teabag from the tea I'm drinking (again, yes I drink tea I'm English lool) she's strong especially when in hot water. I admire that. My diamond in the rough heheh. Unlike most of us whom strike a confident pose but take every word said to them with great aggressiveness shielding their shortcomings with their loud personalities ahem..Bored*.

Khanette* takes it all in stride she focuses on the rational part of life - claiming that a heart doesnt pound faster just because of love its just an organ!! hahaha and "I'm going on vacation, and if I come back engaged then I come back engaged." LOL love it!' I hope to always see inshallah that twinkle in her eye as she gives her cheeky smile. I wonder is if she's still reading the Arranged Marriages book heheh.

Unfortunately our men in this society are too hung over letting their parents choose their life partner. He rarely chooses to marry his girlfriend lol.No matter the age, most are stamped out of the same mold: passive and weak. They are slaves to reactionary customs and traditions even if their enlightened minds pretend to reject such things! Thats the mold for all men in this society. They're just pawns their families move around the chessboard.
It worries him to even think about following a path so different from the path his father followed so he follows their steps and doesn't go against their way of doing things. They're too scared to pay for their own decisions in life. They want others to follow and others to blame if things fail....with the exception of few.

Doolti* is also knocking on marriage's door.....or maybe pounding. She reminds me to get moving LOL...as we dont "need 5 yr old actions" of some men haha. I always tell her never settle for anything coz she's deserves the best inshallah.

Ah the life of a hopeless romantic as myself is such a cloudy one hahaa.

Friday, 29 February 2008

Trouble in Paradise

Found it? Your objective - your monthly raise, your graduation diploma, your job acceptance, your soulmate, your insatiably appetitizing object of lust (loool), your reason for smiling?If yes, then are you truly fufilled? Something you can pretend is important will automatically make it so.Don't get me wrong, objects can be shifted - and success manufactured as I've said before and anything faked...but what if you've found it, but you can't keep it, or if it were unclear.

"O, I have bought the mansion of a love, But not possess'd it."

It is this objective is that drives us nearly to the peak of paranoia lol...it may be that the objective is so surreal that it seems highly unlikely and completely fictional..but nevertheless we are driven. [Harder than winning is holding]
Imagine a metaphoric story of a man set out to find something he'd always dream for, somethin so improbable and yet he were so eager to find it - the truth. For him it was a desert elephant, something unlikely to come by. He had to linger on the hope that he would eventually find it, and keep it for always even if it meant roaming the desert without particular direction but with a very certain desire.
Have you done that? Have you ever followed your desert elephant into the wilds - putting your own time, energy and emotional status at stake? Only to discover that when you stop to think of it, you don't know whether you are coming or going? You're standing there in the middle of the desert you don't know whether its going to end nicely or if you should re-trace steps and go back to where you were - hollow without an objective merely a vessel moving from one situation of life to the next. And yet safe, safe the pain of not getting what you really want.
Inside us all there is the secret truth of ourselves and our desire, a truth that is hollow, like a cocunut that has split its water. We can choose one of the two options, whether it is to just embrace this hollowness and just give yourself the opportunity to persuade yourself that there is something real and true out there...and be fine with the insecurity and self-doubt. Or to just quit while you're ahead. Quit a losing game.
Maybe I don't quite make sense but you'd have to use that imagination of yours loool ;)

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