I'm realllllly not in any mood to be cheerful right now heh so I'm gonna spill it. I guess everyone has something in their life that gets them down, for me it has always been my mother and the fact that it has been 8 years since i've seen my mom -yah since 1998...and everyone knows the story of her being in England & my dad not giving permission to visit her because he's afraid i wont come back.
But no one really gets it that its been that long, like my housemaids heh - they're like "may we dont c our children until every 2 years" its like how is THAT supposed to compare? Orrr the thing that really gets me is that when i say its been that long people tell me dont u miss her?? Its like being stabbed in the heart seriously, when they say that - why cant people be a little bit more sensitive? Just coz they might not understand the BLESSING of having their mother around - and just be with her. Thats why nothing bothers me the most then when i see my friends or anyone for that matter say they hate their mom or they wished they didnt have to see her today - i feel like sayin 2 them, wanna switch places??
Just last week i think, I met an old 'acquaintance' - i haven't seen in mmm...a while anyway he said something about did i see my mother recently? - and i said yah i will soon (coz i hang on to that hope coz without it i dont know what would happen to me) and he said "may! u've said that for over 4 years now" (thats how long he could remember) and it totally ripped me apart i was gonna cry right there in the cafe, i didnt say anything - what could i say?...then my friend *berryblast* said yah she'll see her mom next summer inshallah and i dont even know if its true but for the first time i felt really happy inside...that some1 is really understanding me and giving me hope...thanks berryblast* i couldnt say that to her in person, i dont know why...Im reminded of this today coz its her b-day and i called her...coz thats all i can ever do - just call her - INSHALLAH ya rabb i can see her one day...
sorry ppl for the depressing post heh - just one of them days i guess