Thursday, 23 April 2009
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Yikes! I'm in limbo!! The idea of starting work is been tossed around but still not ready to hit the deep end...evidently everything changes once you graduate. YES I'M ALLOWED TO BE DRAMATIC :D hahahaa. Shoot me :
"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.''
Monday, 14 July 2008
Arranged Marriage also known as the ''M'' word"- Take the one who loves you, not the one you love?!
I rememeber when Taqo* blogged about this ages back...the whole ordeal of, "get changed there's a mother waiting to see you downstairs for her son". LOL
Foof* is not a stranger to the whole "M" scene either :D
Especially once you hit 21 and from then on. I remember when Khanette* dreaded turning that age for that fact. I've come to realize us girls are seriously complicated beings and I kind of feel sorry for men. Back in Jan'o7 she and I made this doomed for failure resolution that we'd find '"the one" that year and marry him right after grad! It sounds so hilarious right now...
McHottie* and I at that time used to spend countless hours discussing how do you know when the guy is serious or not!? And she found the Golden Rules in how men marry b*tches...haha. I guess trying to fathom life's mysteries is what us girls do best.
I like giving the "I'll think about it" answer to hopeful parents, showing atleast you're taking it into consideration and not just blowing them off which is the real truth. That was the case a couple of months back as I admit I am quite passive to a certain extent with these things.
I love Ash*'s response to this:
Ash - Woman! what are you doing??
Me - I was just trying to....be nice?!
Ash- Next time I'll hear from you, 'Ash I'm engaged I didnt want to but I was just trying to be nice'! :-0
Me- hahahahahaha
Ash - Run for the hills!
Ah, gotta love her....she's like the teabag from the tea I'm drinking (again, yes I drink tea I'm English lool) she's strong especially when in hot water. I admire that. My diamond in the rough heheh. Unlike most of us whom strike a confident pose but take every word said to them with great aggressiveness shielding their shortcomings with their loud personalities ahem..Bored*.
Khanette* takes it all in stride she focuses on the rational part of life - claiming that a heart doesnt pound faster just because of love its just an organ!! hahaha and "I'm going on vacation, and if I come back engaged then I come back engaged." LOL love it!' I hope to always see inshallah that twinkle in her eye as she gives her cheeky smile. I wonder is if she's still reading the Arranged Marriages book heheh.
Unfortunately our men in this society are too hung over letting their parents choose their life partner. He rarely chooses to marry his girlfriend lol.No matter the age, most are stamped out of the same mold: passive and weak. They are slaves to reactionary customs and traditions even if their enlightened minds pretend to reject such things! Thats the mold for all men in this society. They're just pawns their families move around the chessboard.
It worries him to even think about following a path so different from the path his father followed so he follows their steps and doesn't go against their way of doing things. They're too scared to pay for their own decisions in life. They want others to follow and others to blame if things fail....with the exception of few.
Doolti* is also knocking on marriage's door.....or maybe pounding. She reminds me to get moving LOL...as we dont "need 5 yr old actions" of some men haha. I always tell her never settle for anything coz she's deserves the best inshallah.
Ah the life of a hopeless romantic as myself is such a cloudy one hahaa.
Foof* is not a stranger to the whole "M" scene either :D
Especially once you hit 21 and from then on. I remember when Khanette* dreaded turning that age for that fact. I've come to realize us girls are seriously complicated beings and I kind of feel sorry for men. Back in Jan'o7 she and I made this doomed for failure resolution that we'd find '"the one" that year and marry him right after grad! It sounds so hilarious right now...
McHottie* and I at that time used to spend countless hours discussing how do you know when the guy is serious or not!? And she found the Golden Rules in how men marry b*tches...haha. I guess trying to fathom life's mysteries is what us girls do best.
I like giving the "I'll think about it" answer to hopeful parents, showing atleast you're taking it into consideration and not just blowing them off which is the real truth. That was the case a couple of months back as I admit I am quite passive to a certain extent with these things.
I love Ash*'s response to this:
Ash - Woman! what are you doing??
Me - I was just trying to....be nice?!
Ash- Next time I'll hear from you, 'Ash I'm engaged I didnt want to but I was just trying to be nice'! :-0
Me- hahahahahaha
Ash - Run for the hills!
Ah, gotta love her....she's like the teabag from the tea I'm drinking (again, yes I drink tea I'm English lool) she's strong especially when in hot water. I admire that. My diamond in the rough heheh. Unlike most of us whom strike a confident pose but take every word said to them with great aggressiveness shielding their shortcomings with their loud personalities ahem..Bored*.
Khanette* takes it all in stride she focuses on the rational part of life - claiming that a heart doesnt pound faster just because of love its just an organ!! hahaha and "I'm going on vacation, and if I come back engaged then I come back engaged." LOL love it!' I hope to always see inshallah that twinkle in her eye as she gives her cheeky smile. I wonder is if she's still reading the Arranged Marriages book heheh.
Unfortunately our men in this society are too hung over letting their parents choose their life partner. He rarely chooses to marry his girlfriend lol.No matter the age, most are stamped out of the same mold: passive and weak. They are slaves to reactionary customs and traditions even if their enlightened minds pretend to reject such things! Thats the mold for all men in this society. They're just pawns their families move around the chessboard.
It worries him to even think about following a path so different from the path his father followed so he follows their steps and doesn't go against their way of doing things. They're too scared to pay for their own decisions in life. They want others to follow and others to blame if things fail....with the exception of few.
Doolti* is also knocking on marriage's door.....or maybe pounding. She reminds me to get moving LOL...as we dont "need 5 yr old actions" of some men haha. I always tell her never settle for anything coz she's deserves the best inshallah.
Ah the life of a hopeless romantic as myself is such a cloudy one hahaa.
Friday, 29 February 2008
Trouble in Paradise
Found it? Your objective - your monthly raise, your graduation diploma, your job acceptance, your soulmate, your insatiably appetitizing object of lust (loool), your reason for smiling?If yes, then are you truly fufilled? Something you can pretend is important will automatically make it so.Don't get me wrong, objects can be shifted - and success manufactured as I've said before and anything faked...but what if you've found it, but you can't keep it, or if it were unclear.
"O, I have bought the mansion of a love, But not possess'd it."
-W.S-
It is this objective is that drives us nearly to the peak of paranoia lol...it may be that the objective is so surreal that it seems highly unlikely and completely fictional..but nevertheless we are driven. [Harder than winning is holding]
Imagine a metaphoric story of a man set out to find something he'd always dream for, somethin so improbable and yet he were so eager to find it - the truth. For him it was a desert elephant, something unlikely to come by. He had to linger on the hope that he would eventually find it, and keep it for always even if it meant roaming the desert without particular direction but with a very certain desire.
Have you done that? Have you ever followed your desert elephant into the wilds - putting your own time, energy and emotional status at stake? Only to discover that when you stop to think of it, you don't know whether you are coming or going? You're standing there in the middle of the desert you don't know whether its going to end nicely or if you should re-trace steps and go back to where you were - hollow without an objective merely a vessel moving from one situation of life to the next. And yet safe, safe the pain of not getting what you really want.
Inside us all there is the secret truth of ourselves and our desire, a truth that is hollow, like a cocunut that has split its water. We can choose one of the two options, whether it is to just embrace this hollowness and just give yourself the opportunity to persuade yourself that there is something real and true out there...and be fine with the insecurity and self-doubt. Or to just quit while you're ahead. Quit a losing game.
Maybe I don't quite make sense but you'd have to use that imagination of yours loool ;)
Monday, 5 November 2007
A Day in the Life of Manx
Reflecting on last week, tuesday.
6:30 am - I'm up...having breakfast in bed (I just realized I sound like I'm spoilt God bless the housemaid), toast...and tea...yes I'm english.
6:35 am - take a vitamin, layin bed I refuse to step down from the throne...
6:45 am - I realize if I dont get my ass in gear I'll be late...so I put on the scrubs and 3abaya and grab my change of clothes and leave the house.
7-7:30 I'm always stuck in traffic - well the driver is atleast :P
7:30 I reach the "bus stop" in Dhahran where a private van takes us girls and guys to Bahrain
8:30 I'm @the silent hill hospital :P lol...let the training begin yaaay. I wait for my trainee partner. Grab my patient/medications assignments if given and go.
9:00 I go to the first floor, near the hydro ward and enter the staff room...theres always Hamid here way before time...nerd :P lool
9:00-9:15 I give my supervisior my papers in the staff room and we discuss medications or whatever that was researched on.
9:15 I go to the second floor ward 23 usually...and meet the new patient..I usually assess two patients in Cardiology ward. I hate that ward...its very depressing everyone is on ventilators and are usually unconscious....ahhh al7amdillah....
around 10:00 my supervisior took me to a patient who had his own room...he was very thin but middle aged looking...he was sweating like crazy although the room was quite cool and he was gasping although he was on a ventilator..I was confused..why would he gasp while on ventilation - whats wrong?? I looked at my super Dr Ashwaq (she doesnt get the cool nickname as Ash hahah) and I asked abt what the patient had...she refused to tell me in the room told me she will outside. His room didnt have anything to show anyone had visited him since his stay.
We left. She told me once I see what the patient had to be silent and not show emotion for the people around me. Felt awkward. I checked the file. Male, 36 years old. Married, Turkish. HIV positive.
Ooh..okay...I've never seen that before, someone who I knew actually has it...moving on :S
11:00 I go up the service stairs...smells a bit like cigarrettes its funny how patients secretly smoke there :P
11-1 pm -I'm in the orthopedics department - where I see atleast 3 patients...usually of which fractured the bones in their legs. Before seeing them I go to the nurse station...its in the middle of the ward..and then I search through the catalogue to find the patient's file according to their bed numbers...and grab the X-rays just below and have a glance.
I meet up with the patients. Usually I've seen them before otherwise my partner and I go through the standard procedure of assessment and treatment...I usually do gait training (rehab for walking again) for atleast one patient...atleast.
1pm my feet are pounding been on them all morning - I leave the hospital.
1-3pm I'm with a friend, we're in the car...we usually go for salads near the hospital, but today we ate in Seef. After eating we're on the hunt for skinny jeans...I wanted the dark coloured ones...after a few trips to the changing room I realized the ones I tried on looked too plain loool
3pm-5 - I go to my lecture, Research Methodology. Curse that class. Its torture. Literally torture.
5:30 I decide whether to go or catch the 6:30 bus back.
6:30 I begin my trip back to the other side of the bridge..I'm the walking dead @this time lool
7:45 pm - I'm basically home, check whats in the microwave loool go upstairs and its usually when I end up having all my fone calls hahah....
8-1 am-ish mmmm....my memory is foggy lol I'm usually on the net or...hmm lol.
time to put my fone on the charger.
gnite!x
6:30 am - I'm up...having breakfast in bed (I just realized I sound like I'm spoilt God bless the housemaid), toast...and tea...yes I'm english.
6:35 am - take a vitamin, layin bed I refuse to step down from the throne...
6:45 am - I realize if I dont get my ass in gear I'll be late...so I put on the scrubs and 3abaya and grab my change of clothes and leave the house.
7-7:30 I'm always stuck in traffic - well the driver is atleast :P
7:30 I reach the "bus stop" in Dhahran where a private van takes us girls and guys to Bahrain
8:30 I'm @the silent hill hospital :P lol...let the training begin yaaay. I wait for my trainee partner. Grab my patient/medications assignments if given and go.
9:00 I go to the first floor, near the hydro ward and enter the staff room...theres always Hamid here way before time...nerd :P lool
9:00-9:15 I give my supervisior my papers in the staff room and we discuss medications or whatever that was researched on.
9:15 I go to the second floor ward 23 usually...and meet the new patient..I usually assess two patients in Cardiology ward. I hate that ward...its very depressing everyone is on ventilators and are usually unconscious....ahhh al7amdillah....
around 10:00 my supervisior took me to a patient who had his own room...he was very thin but middle aged looking...he was sweating like crazy although the room was quite cool and he was gasping although he was on a ventilator..I was confused..why would he gasp while on ventilation - whats wrong?? I looked at my super Dr Ashwaq (she doesnt get the cool nickname as Ash hahah) and I asked abt what the patient had...she refused to tell me in the room told me she will outside. His room didnt have anything to show anyone had visited him since his stay.
We left. She told me once I see what the patient had to be silent and not show emotion for the people around me. Felt awkward. I checked the file. Male, 36 years old. Married, Turkish. HIV positive.
Ooh..okay...I've never seen that before, someone who I knew actually has it...moving on :S
11:00 I go up the service stairs...smells a bit like cigarrettes its funny how patients secretly smoke there :P
11-1 pm -I'm in the orthopedics department - where I see atleast 3 patients...usually of which fractured the bones in their legs. Before seeing them I go to the nurse station...its in the middle of the ward..and then I search through the catalogue to find the patient's file according to their bed numbers...and grab the X-rays just below and have a glance.
I meet up with the patients. Usually I've seen them before otherwise my partner and I go through the standard procedure of assessment and treatment...I usually do gait training (rehab for walking again) for atleast one patient...atleast.
1pm my feet are pounding been on them all morning - I leave the hospital.
1-3pm I'm with a friend, we're in the car...we usually go for salads near the hospital, but today we ate in Seef. After eating we're on the hunt for skinny jeans...I wanted the dark coloured ones...after a few trips to the changing room I realized the ones I tried on looked too plain loool
3pm-5 - I go to my lecture, Research Methodology. Curse that class. Its torture. Literally torture.
5:30 I decide whether to go or catch the 6:30 bus back.
6:30 I begin my trip back to the other side of the bridge..I'm the walking dead @this time lool
7:45 pm - I'm basically home, check whats in the microwave loool go upstairs and its usually when I end up having all my fone calls hahah....
8-1 am-ish mmmm....my memory is foggy lol I'm usually on the net or...hmm lol.
time to put my fone on the charger.
gnite!x
Tuesday, 12 December 2006
gym madnesSs !
heyy fools :D this morning i went to the gym with *Khanum*,*Darkshine* and Nada....we got there at 8:30 and all was good (weird thing is the little TV's on the machines show porn :P and i knowww that's the REAL reason why *Khanum* came extra early this morning lol j/k) anywayy like i said all was good until me and *Khanum* went to go shower (ok that just sounds wrong -eheh) and when i wanted to come out of the shower i realized my clothes were missing - loooool (its funny NOW) and so i was screamin wheres my freakin' clothes!!! and ofcourse *Khanum*, *Darkshine* and Nada thought it was sooo funny - i swear they led me on a goose chase hehe (and the lady watching over the lockers thought i was psycho by the way). *Khanum* was laughin so much she was all teary-eyed (which made me think of all the different possibilities of *Khanum* plots lol ) thennn my clothes were "placed" in the other shower - which i know *Khanum* said was MY doing loool - (yaaah, sure *Khanum* i dont trust ur sneaky smile :D) sooo we ended up leaving too late for Bahrain and so we to starbux...and the rest is history.
Goodnight!
P.S Dont believe *Khanum's* story its b.s lol!
Goodnight!
P.S Dont believe *Khanum's* story its b.s lol!
Friday, 24 November 2006
Mummy :(
I'm realllllly not in any mood to be cheerful right now heh so I'm gonna spill it. I guess everyone has something in their life that gets them down, for me it has always been my mother and the fact that it has been 8 years since i've seen my mom -yah since 1998...and everyone knows the story of her being in England & my dad not giving permission to visit her because he's afraid i wont come back.
But no one really gets it that its been that long, like my housemaids heh - they're like "may we dont c our children until every 2 years" its like how is THAT supposed to compare? Orrr the thing that really gets me is that when i say its been that long people tell me dont u miss her?? Its like being stabbed in the heart seriously, when they say that - why cant people be a little bit more sensitive? Just coz they might not understand the BLESSING of having their mother around - and just be with her. Thats why nothing bothers me the most then when i see my friends or anyone for that matter say they hate their mom or they wished they didnt have to see her today - i feel like sayin 2 them, wanna switch places??
Just last week i think, I met an old 'acquaintance' - i haven't seen in mmm...a while anyway he said something about did i see my mother recently? - and i said yah i will soon (coz i hang on to that hope coz without it i dont know what would happen to me) and he said "may! u've said that for over 4 years now" (thats how long he could remember) and it totally ripped me apart i was gonna cry right there in the cafe, i didnt say anything - what could i say?...then my friend *berryblast* said yah she'll see her mom next summer inshallah and i dont even know if its true but for the first time i felt really happy inside...that some1 is really understanding me and giving me hope...thanks berryblast* i couldnt say that to her in person, i dont know why...Im reminded of this today coz its her b-day and i called her...coz thats all i can ever do - just call her - INSHALLAH ya rabb i can see her one day...
sorry ppl for the depressing post heh - just one of them days i guess
But no one really gets it that its been that long, like my housemaids heh - they're like "may we dont c our children until every 2 years" its like how is THAT supposed to compare? Orrr the thing that really gets me is that when i say its been that long people tell me dont u miss her?? Its like being stabbed in the heart seriously, when they say that - why cant people be a little bit more sensitive? Just coz they might not understand the BLESSING of having their mother around - and just be with her. Thats why nothing bothers me the most then when i see my friends or anyone for that matter say they hate their mom or they wished they didnt have to see her today - i feel like sayin 2 them, wanna switch places??
Just last week i think, I met an old 'acquaintance' - i haven't seen in mmm...a while anyway he said something about did i see my mother recently? - and i said yah i will soon (coz i hang on to that hope coz without it i dont know what would happen to me) and he said "may! u've said that for over 4 years now" (thats how long he could remember) and it totally ripped me apart i was gonna cry right there in the cafe, i didnt say anything - what could i say?...then my friend *berryblast* said yah she'll see her mom next summer inshallah and i dont even know if its true but for the first time i felt really happy inside...that some1 is really understanding me and giving me hope...thanks berryblast* i couldnt say that to her in person, i dont know why...Im reminded of this today coz its her b-day and i called her...coz thats all i can ever do - just call her - INSHALLAH ya rabb i can see her one day...
sorry ppl for the depressing post heh - just one of them days i guess
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